Tag Archives: faith

The Pardon

 

Some say
I am more rain than right.
Some day
There will be no more of this disguise.
It was not a vision.
I came down the mountain.
Simple, clean, and knowing no one at my side.
This is my condition.
With a primal heart in thumping
Houses of the holy handing out reward.

He saved my life.
Compassionate.
Granted me a stay.
Though I know
I am more battered
Than one dare mention.

Some say
I have gone adrift without a fight.
One day
I will teach them the skill of compromise.
This is my decision.
No angel on my shoulder.
Standing for the right to choose this life.
Alive with the conviction.
Certain, firm, and steady.
I am of the mountain. I can help to build.

Saved my life.
I shine along
For a small moment.
Though I know
I am more damaged
At the hand of mercy.

 

C. Gandy 10-23-16

Image is a David Roberts lithograph.

Read this once. Then, go back and read it with passion. And so on…

 

In Memoriam

I have not done any writing since the time in and around my father’s passing. My father passed away on September 2, 2016. The following is the tribute speech I delivered at the service.

I just wanted to start off with something from Lamentations 3:22-23.

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

 

When I was a young boy, my father never stopped me from doing the things I wanted to do.  It was his way of letting me explore through trial and error.  He didn’t persuade me to not be a Texas Ranger fan.  He bought me a Ranger’s cap and I proudly wore it to his softball games.  He let me wander through the woods behind our house, staking out the next best place for a clubhouse.  He never forgot the time I misspelled “private” on one of the clubhouses.  He would tell me the story every year around the holidays.

As I grew older, I naturally became more independent.  He bought me a ten speed bicycle and I rode that bike from Spotswood to Thompson Park.  Eventually, I rode that bike to my first job at Fernwood Cemetery.  He bought me a telescope and let me stay out very late to dream about what I was under or to watch shooting stars.  But, before all this independence and still young; he took me fishing.  We fished together for many years.  However, we would never keep the fish and always toss them back.  Until one day, I reeled in a huge pickerel out of Helmetta Pond.  We had to keep it.  He was so proud of me.  As I got older, my independence took me away from fishing and I know that was difficult.

Over many years, I simply refused any material assistance from my parents. I already had been given so much.

This past year, I built my own website and once again dad was so amazed and proud.

A few weeks ago, we had a brief conversation about his upcoming operation.  I had an overbearing feeling that the operation and recovery would be difficult for him.  I think he knew it too.  We also discussed my kitchen renovation plans.  Just before the operation, he ordered me several tools to do the job without telling me because it made him happy. Shortly, he ended up right back in the hospital.  I accepted those tools without any grief or hesitation.  I felt his time diminished and I think he knew it too.

When I saw him last, he was finally at peace.

I told him, “Thanks. Thanks for making me for who I am.  Thanks for everything.  I am grateful for all of it but you already gave me the best thing. Life.  Thanks for life, dad.”

C. Gandy.  Written 9-7-16. Vision cast 9-8-16

 

 

Fellowship

Tattoo16

I won’t stand another minute
I sense the dawning fray
I will disallow
The full erase
Of all that ever was

You paint the sky black and blue
Shield me from the facts
The somber rain
Corrodes my flesh
Faith knows I’m under attack

There’s a future with lights on the ocean
And intricate threads in the air
Singing the legend
No matter how composed your devotion
Certitude will lift you there
Overflowing with ease

You decorate fearless morals
And cover them with cloth
You cannot hide
What you don’t deliver
While wearing that false face

Impending clouds of dark thunder
Strike me where it hurts
The mouth of Hades
Can spew its anguish
The Kingdom has my back.

 

C. Gandy 06-17-16

Photo from the internet.

I can’t explain where this poem came from because I don’t align myself with any particular faith. So, I don’t know if this will send me to the top of the Christian Rock charts!

 

 

 

 

Little White Angels

 

I stand at the pier’s edge.
Feet blistering.
Burning from saltwater spray.
They cramp after hours pass.
Too afraid to move.
Arms applying small relief adjustments.
Balance indispensable.
Eyes descend into trance
Watching bitter, gray waves roll.
The stare went beyond.
Looking backward
Searching for specifics
In murky uncertainty.
Each wave slightly different.
Changes uneasy to absorb.
They struck piles below.
A harmonic oscillator.

It is time.

The heart longing for maturity and growth
Perceived the pendulum.
Used its energy to amplify
And pound hard.
The plank splintered.
Knees buckled.
One split-second turn
To grasp the edge.
The eyes catch a glimpse
of the passage back.
Indistinguishable.
The way down.
Fearful.
Though it would resolve.

Falling through the expanse.
Dawn advancing.
Ocean turquoise.
Waves on high
With little white angels
Bubbling champagne.
Now washed ashore.
Each stride forward
Carries vivid yellow-orange sun.
Footprints firmer
As I watch myself rise.

 

C. Gandy 5-19-16

Photo from nicknoblephotography.com